The mystery of language was revealed to me. I knew than that "w-a-t-e-r" meant the wonderful cool something that was flowing over my hand. That living word awakened my soul, gave it light, joy, set it free!
- Helen Keller (The Story of My Life, Ch. 4)
The hands of those I meet are dumbly eloquent to me. The touch of some hands is an impertinence. I have met people so empty of joy, that when I clasped their frosty finger-tips, it seemed to me as if I were shaking hands with a northeast storm. Others there are whose hands have sunbeams in them, so that their grasp warms my heart.
- Ibid., Ch. 23
Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content.
- Ibid., Ch. 22
I am charmed with your book - enchanted. You are a wonderful creature, the most wonderful in the world - you and your other half together - Miss Sulliivan, I mean, for it took the pair of you to make a complete and perfect whole.
- Mark Twain (1835-1910) (letter to Helen Keller, 17 March 1903)
- Helen Keller (The Story of My Life, Ch. 4)
The hands of those I meet are dumbly eloquent to me. The touch of some hands is an impertinence. I have met people so empty of joy, that when I clasped their frosty finger-tips, it seemed to me as if I were shaking hands with a northeast storm. Others there are whose hands have sunbeams in them, so that their grasp warms my heart.
- Ibid., Ch. 23
Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content.
- Ibid., Ch. 22
I am charmed with your book - enchanted. You are a wonderful creature, the most wonderful in the world - you and your other half together - Miss Sulliivan, I mean, for it took the pair of you to make a complete and perfect whole.
- Mark Twain (1835-1910) (letter to Helen Keller, 17 March 1903)
Today is the 133rd anniversary of the birth of American writer, lecturer, and humanitarian Helen Adams Keller (1880-1968), who was blind and deaf from the age of 19 months. Born in Tuscumbia, Alabama, Keller was deprived of her sight and hearing by a childhood disease, but her private tutor, Anne Sullivan (1866-1936) - through a series of innovative teaching methods - gradually taught her to understand and communicate with others. Keller became a world-famous advocate for the blind and disabled, and in addition to The Story of My Life (1903), wrote Midstream, My Later Life in 1929 and lectured on the issues of blindness all over the world. Helen Keller seems to be fading from public memory, but the dramatization of her early teaching by Anne Sullivan in William Gibson's play, The Miracle Worker (1960), is still regularly performed.
Jokes after the jump.
Did you know that Helen Keller had a dollhouse in the backyard? Neither did she.How did Helen Keller burn her ear off? Answering the iron!
How did she burn the other one off? They called back!
What is Helen Kellers favorite color? Velcro
How did Helen Keller drive herself crazy? Trying to read a stucco wall
Why cant Helen Keller drive a car? Shes a woman.
How did Helen Keller break her arm while in the car? Trying to read a stop sign going 80
Whats the name of Helen Kellers favorite book? Around the Block in 80 Days
What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? Endless love
How did Helen Keller drive her car? One hand on the wheel, the other on the road
How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date!
How did Helen Keller pierce her ear? Answering the stapler
How did Helen Kellers teachers punish her for talking in class? They made her wear mittens
Why didnt Helen Keller change her babys diaper? So she could always find him
How did Helen Keller pick her eyes out? She shouted hysterically
Have you seen a picture of Helen Kellers dad? Neither has she!
How do you tell if Helen Keller is alive? If you hear something fall down the stairs
Why does Helen Keller play the piano with one hand? Because she sings with the other!
Why did Helen Kellers last relationship not work? Her boyfriend complained about how she never listened to his problems.
Why is it okay to tell Helen Keller jokes? Because she cant hear them anyway!
What is Helen Kellers favorite color? Black
Remember the Helen Keller doll? Youd wind her up and watch her walk into walls.
What was the worst day in Helen Kellers life? The day she burned her mouth, and couldnt taste anything, either.
How did Helen Keller drive a car? With one hand on the wheel, and one hand on the road.
What did Helen Keller name her dog? Nymphdrumpherlmf.
How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? By walking on her Braille books with golf shoes.
Why does Helen Keller have holes in her face? She tried eating with a fork.
Why did Helen Kellers dog kill itself? You would too if your name was sajifjlsisdjifiuopoo
How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? They stuck a plunger in the toilet.
If Helen Keller fell down in the woods, would she make a sound?
How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She answered the iron. How did she burn the other side? They called back.
What did Helen Kellers room look like? She didnt know either
What was Helen Kellers favorite childhood game? Musical Chairs
If Helen Keller were psychic, would she call it a fourth sense?
What did Helen Keller say to the shop assistant when she knocked over a product-display in the store? Just looking!
Why couldnt Helen Keller play on her high school football team? Because shes a girl
Why was Helen Kellers leg yellow? Her dog was blind too.
What did Helen Kellers parents do to punish her for swearing? Washed her hands with soap.
How did Helen Keller burn her hands? She was trying to read a waffle iron
What did Helen Keller do when she fell down the well? She screamed and screamed until her hands turned blue
How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? Break her fingers
Why did Helen Keller cross the road? What, like she knows where shes going!
Whats this (slowly waving fingers)? Helen Keller moaning
Why did Helen Keller cross the road? What, like she knows where shes going!
Whats this (slowly waving fingers)? Helen Keller moaning
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